December 31, 2013.
It’s here. Already.
How did over 300 days pass since my last blog post? What happened to my intentions of blogging at least twice a month? Where did this year in my life go?
Let me start at the beginning. At this same time last year, I was sick. I had just been diagnosed with mono for the second time in my adult life. My body was worn out after three years of pregnancy, miscarriage, surgeries, depression, and infections. And I was determined that in 2013 I would work hard to improve my health. I have – I found a doctor who is very detailed in her approach to her patients’ whole-body health. She leaves no stone unturned in her quest to find answers to her patients’ problems. I’m thankful for her excellent care. I’m not where I need to be, but I am closer – and a lot healthier – than I was.
But this journey to a healthier body has come at quite a cost. The financial pressure of mounting medical bills has left its mark on our family. Other life events have created stress during a year when we really could have used a break. My husband and I often disagree on how to discipline and show love to our children. My business goals were severely impacted by my illness, which left me low on energy and distracted. 2013 has not been an easy year, by any stretch of the imagination.
Looking back, I have to say I am amazed. Not by the improvement in my health (although it’s very welcome). Not by my children (although I love them and am thankful to have kept them healthy and safe for another year). Not by my marriage (although against all odds we celebrated our 10th wedding anniversary in 2013).
I AM AMAZED BY GOD.
I am amazed by His faithfulness. By the evidences of His mercy and grace and forgiveness and strength and power in my weak and broken life.
It’s only by His grace that I am alive at all. It’s only by His grace that my family and I have survived another year. It’s only by His grace that my husband and I have remained married through 10 years of the enemy’s unrelenting attacks on our marriage.
Did 2013 turn out the way I would have chosen? No. I had a lot of goals and dreams for this year. A lot of them died along the way. A few are still alive, but are buried under the rubble of the pain of this year. And one that is burning in my heart has received a “WAIT” from the Lord.
So for now, that is what I will do. As 2014 begins, I am determined to make my way back to the foot of the cross. I intend to spend time there in prayer and worship. I will wait on the Lord. This is the spiritual discipline I will work on as the New Year begins.
I pray that each of you will experience the amazing grace of our Lord Jesus Christ today, and every day in the coming year. Seek His face. Don’t be afraid. Don’t turn away. Accept His love.